Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
