unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
