Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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