I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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