is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
