If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
