I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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