next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize