I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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