Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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