Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I think i got beer on your cat.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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