He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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