glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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