I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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