is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
