Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
