I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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