She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
