We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
