K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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