Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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