It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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