ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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