you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
