She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
