1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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