Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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