Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
