I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize