Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
