why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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