Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize