My brain says no but my pants say off.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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