His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
