Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
