ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
