is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
