If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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