my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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