She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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