How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I can't turn off my feet"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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