HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
