The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
