can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize