Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
