it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
