Duck Duck Cougar?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
