Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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