those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
