Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
