I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Its about making memories worth repressing
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize