Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
