I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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