Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
