how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
