you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize