I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
