This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
