Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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