I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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