I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize