Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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