Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
