He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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