a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize