Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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