If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
