Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
