Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize