By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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